How many parents start the week wondering who was in charge at the weekend, them or the kids? How many of them throw up their hands at children's misbehaviour, and wonder what happened to the ‘good old' family values? What do parents of teens do when they come home drunk, or run off at the mouth?

STEP and STEP/teen - Systematic Training for Effective Parenting and Parenting of Teenagers - are modular courses on positive parenting.

If working parents have to deal with relationship problems with their children or teenagers, as well as the long working hours culture, then the cumulative effects of stress can be damaging, not only in terms of an individual’s health but also in terms of performance at work. This is where the employer may start to feel the impact, with problems ranging from lack of concentration and reduced performance, to absenteeism.

The STEP courses address some of these issues and help to reduce the cumulative effects of stress on work performance. They help parents and employers alike by assisting families to find more effective ways of relating to and disciplining children and teenagers. They build self-esteem and responsibility.

An Introduction to STEP:

People need training to become effective parents. In the past, the only qualification thought to be needed was biological. But now things are different. Our society is undergoing rapid social change. We are living in an era of increasing social equality in which people are refusing to be treated as inferior. Recent movements toward social equality – women with men, children with adults – have presented challenges, which most parents are not prepared to meet. We need to learn to live with each other as equals.

The ‘democratic revolution’ has rendered the autocratic approach inappropriate and ineffective. As a result, the traditional way of disciplining children – by reward and punishment – needs to be reconsidered. Reward and punishment as a method of control fits only an autocratic society and a autocratic home.

Traditional methods of raising children are failing to achieve what parents want most: responsible children who grow into responsible men and women. To achieve the desired goal, we need new approaches to the raising of children – namely, new parent-child relationships. Since social equality is becoming a reality, these new relationships need to be based on democratic principles.

What is a democratic process for bringing up children and teenagers?

In contrast to autocratic child-rearing methods – in which the parents make and enforce rules and children/teens submit – democratic child-rearing methods are based on mutual respect and equality.

The term ‘equality’ is often misunderstood. We do not use it in the sense of equal attributes. Instead, we are using the term as it applies to human worth and dignity.

We assume that each person in a family is entitled to equal respect. We believe that parents should provide opportunities for children and teens to make decisions, within limits, and should allow them to be responsible for their decisions. This type of guidance is called ‘natural and logical consequences.’ It replaces reward and punishment as a method of disciplining children and teens.

Democratic parents learn to communicate with their children and teenagers, and to encourage them. Communication and encouragement imply valuing each child/teen as an individual who deserves love and respect.

But parents don’t just happen to become democratic parents; they become that way deliberately. Hence, the purpose of this course is to help parents discard outmoded methods of raising children and become able to meet the challenges of raising children today.

Why STEP?

Parents are constantly exposed to advice – some unsolicited – on how to raise their children. Paediatricians give it and so do relatives, friends, neighbours, magazine writers, and newspaper columnists.

To replace this barrage of often conflicting information, STEP and STEP/teen - Systematic Training for Effective Parenting and Parenting of Teenagers - offers parents a practical alternative to meet the challenges of raising children and teenagers today.

STEP is intended for study group use because the programme’s authors have found study groups an especially effective method for parent education. In a group, parents provide encouragement for each other. They share concerns and soon learn that their problems are not unique. Through discussions, they become aware that their own reactions and attitudes may have unintentionally influenced their children’s unacceptable behaviours.

More specifically, STEP helps parents learn effective ways to relate to their children. By clarifying the purpose of children’s and teenager’s misbehaviour, STEP also helps parents learn how not to reinforce their children’s unacceptable behaviours and how to encourage co-operative behaviour.

Through STEP, parents discover something else of great value – that they are not necessarily the cause of difficulties with their children. When this burden of guilt is removed, parents are freed to function more effectively.

STEP and STEP/teen were developed by Don Dinkmeyer and Gary D. McKay (USA).